The
last of our women’s health patients leave this week. Most of the ladies that
are a part of the women’s health program have something called an “obstetric fistula.”
This basically means that these women have a hole in their organs that is caused by prolonged and
difficult childbirth, most often where the baby dies…so we’re looking at
intensely long childbirth, then giving birth to a baby that is already dead,
and then having damage in her body from the childbirth so that she constantly
leaks urine, which results in being shunned by family and friends because she’s
always seen as smelly and dirty.
I can’t imagine. I don’t want to
imagine.
This is the everyday reality for these
ladies, but when they come onboard they are not alone anymore. They are
surrounded not only by doctors and nurses who want to help them, but even more
significantly, they are surrounded by other women who understand. They know the
loneliness and pain and isolation and stares…they are in the same boat…literally
and figuratively. And for some of these ladies, it’s the first time that there’s
someone who understands.
After these women have their surgery to close
the hole, we hold a dress ceremony, which the crew looks forward to all year!
It’s a spectacular celebration of healing! The crew traipses out to deck 7 to
sit in the hot sun and catch a wisp of breeze. There’s a hum of excitement that
you can literally feel zinging through the throng of people sitting in the
folding chairs and many more standing (because there are no more chairs). The
MC leads us in song and dance and praise while the ladies down in the wards are
preparing for their big debut. They are putting on beautiful new dresses, head
wraps, makeup, jewelry, taking photos, giving hugs as they begin to see themselves
as they once were…before it all went wrong.
Lovely. Beautiful. Full of strength and
dignity.
The singing and cacophony up top grows until
we finally see the ladies coming through the door and we all stand and whoop
and cheer! They dance in and then sit in their place of honor.
Each woman has a
chance to get up and tell her story. “I’ve had a fistula for…ten
months…5 years…12 years…22 years…30 years.”
Going to this ceremony was one of the most
memorable experiences from two years ago when I was here, but this time they
did something I don’t remember them doing before. The MC asked any husbands who
were there at the ceremony to come up and stand with their wives. This was a
very significant moment because quite honestly, a lot of husbands leave their wives
when they find out she has an obstetric fistula. We had a few ladies this year
whose husbands came with them, so when the MC asked this, two men walked up to
stand with their wives. One couple was 17 years old! The MC thanked these two
men for being examples of what manhood should look like – for standing up for
and sticking by their wives even in the hardest of times. I looked over at the
ladies and all of them had tears streaming down their faces. I couldn’t understand
everything that was being said in French and Susu and Pular…but those streaming
tears spoke volumes. In the midst of the celebration, there was this moment to
acknowledge the strength and support of the husbands who cared so well for
their wives…and the lack of the other husbands standing there was so glaringly
obvious and wrong. They were tears of immense gratitude and immense loneliness.
It was a beautiful, hard, celebratory, heart-wrenching, human experience.
I got to have some special experiences with
the ladies this year! My roommate works in the women’s health ward so I got to
hear lots of stories about these strong ladies. I got to take part in manicure
Mondays, which involved a few crew members volunteering to go down to the women’s
health ward each Monday to massage hands and feet and paint nails! The night I
went down, my roommate and I were the only ones who showed up for manicure
Monday, but we couldn’t just massage a few of the ladies! It ended up taking
over two hours, but we got around to each and every lady! It was an
overwhelming moment…thinking about the difference between where these ladies have
been and where they are now. A week before they were alone, in need of physical
and emotional healing, and now they were surrounded by others who knew exactly
what they were going through, getting hands massaged and nails painted while “Girls
Just Wanna Have Fun” played in the background!
I also got to be the photographer for the
Easter party that the nurses put on for the ladies! While the patients were up
on deck 7 on Easter afternoon, the nurses transformed the women’s health ward
into a twinkly wonderland! I came down as the nurses were decorating and they
were positively giddy! As the ladies came down to the hospital from deck 7, the
nurses lined the hallway and escorted each woman into the newly transformed
ward. They explained a little bit about Easter and that it’s a day when we
celebrate God’s love for us. Then snacks and dancing ensued! Towards the end,
the women (who are mostly Muslim) actually asked the nurses to pray for them!
It was a glorious celebration!
Because of these special experiences I got to
participate in, it was especially meaningful to me to get to attend the dress
ceremony for many of these ladies this year. It is an incredible honor to be in
the presence of these strong, persevering women.
*Please continue praying for all the women
around the world who suffer from and obstetric fistula. Pray for their husbands
and families to stick with them and protect them. Pray for the ladies this year
who had unsuccessful surgeries. Pray that they would all know that God loves
them and thinks they are valuable and lovely and His children. Pray for
healing...physically, emotionally, and spiritually.
